I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The best revenge is premature balding
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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