Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
