Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
