haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize