You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
