he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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