Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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