I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize