Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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