Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
