My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
