I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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