the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
