btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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