Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
