i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
