i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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