I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
