i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
