found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
