We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
