You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
