I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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