yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
