Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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