My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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