careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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