Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
