Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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