Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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