i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
