Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
