I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
