Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize