Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
