So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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