Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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