dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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