I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
