just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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