I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
