i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Alive.
So much puke
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
