I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A+ Viking dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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