i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
