i already hear my dad disowning me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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