So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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