So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
