so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
