Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
