I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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