; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so let's talk penis.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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