But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
