She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
