You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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