doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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